Review: Slog of the 'Penguins'

Better to see Big Hero 6 again, pop in aMadagascar DVD or watch March of the Penguins than bother with the lifeless Penguins of Madagascar (** out of four; rated PG; opens Wednesday nationwide). This is a joyless, frenetic film that is very rarely funny.

Penguins, in general, are an adorable lot. But in this limp spinoff, the fourth go-round in the Madagascar franchise that began in 2005, they come across as charmless and surprisingly interchangeable.

The title is a misnomer, given that the birds are rarely in Madagascar. They go from Antarctica to Fort Knox to Venice to somewhere in the desert to Shanghai to New York. They zoom around on all kinds of flying vehicles and contraptions. Mostly, they can't stop talking.

A penguin threesome breaks off from its flock to chase after a runaway egg. Fast-thinking Kowalski (Chris Miller), bold Skipper (Tom McGrath) and daredevil Rico (Conrad Vernon) end up becoming surrogate family for the young penguin who hatches from the egg, whom they call Private (Christopher Knights).

There's a villainous geneticist, Dr. Octavius Brine, voiced by John Malkovich, who beneath his lab coat is a purple octopus named Dave, eager to exact revenge on the cute and cuddly penguins that stole his spotlight at a zoo years before. With the help of his octopi henchmen, the tentacled Dave plans to turn the quartet — and dozens of their tuxedoed waddling brethren — into grotesque monsters via a green serum he's spent the past decade concocting.

As the action zings around, the zingers don't exactly hit the funny bone. There's an overblown gag about breaking wind and repetitive puns spinning off celebrity names. Dave yells to his minions: "Nicholas, cage them! And later: "Halle, bury them!" Other names get similarly bandied about — Hugh Jackman, Drew Barrymore, Parker Posey, Elijah Wood — but it'll be lost on the kids.

Benedict Cumberbatch plays the suave wolf Agent Classified. He heads up North Wind, a professional paramilitary rescue operation that focuses on animal welfare and consists of a brawny polar bear named Corporal (Peter Stormare), a brainy owl named Eva (Annet Mahendru) and a clever little seal called Short Fuse (Ken Jeong).

The animation is hectic, with the action sequences more hyperactive and bombarding than enjoyable, and presented in 3-D to no discernible advantage. A gondola chase through the canals of Venice makes for the movie's only relatively original and lively scene.

The ending tries to convey a heartfelt message that looks don't matter and actions are what counts. It's a worthy sentiment, but feels tacked-on, obvious and delivered in a way that falls flat.

A recurring joke about the penguins' love for Cheeto-like snacks called Cheezy Dibbles is emblematic of the entire movie. Penguins of Madgascar feels like the animation equivalent of junk food. It's empty, free of value and forgettable.